Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to I am Legend Will Smith

This post is my own analysis and interpretation of some memorable pages I've read in this new book call "Will". Will Smith has been one of my favorite actor since I first saw him act in Bad Boys. As I was growing up, my parents did not really care if I saw action movies as long as I would cover my eyes during any sex scene. So, I got to watch Bad Boys and Men in Black alongside my parents. Seeing Will Smith stay in character to deliver such masterpieces of movies made me crave more movies from him. I always thought his character and the lines he spoke in the movies were quite influential. Then in November 2021, "Will" was released and it had a ton of advertisements all over social media. I knew that I had to buy one and read it for myself.

I will not be going into depth with a summary of his book because some of you guys will probably want to pick up the book and read it for yourself. The main premise of this post is to discuss some fire lessons that Will Smith wanted to share to his readers after experiencing a hell of a journey with rapping, acting, being a son, a father, and a husband. Throughout my reading, I like to highlight these quotes and reread it a few times to really absorb the message that Will Smith was trying to address. I will try to dissect and provide my own input into these meaningful lessons that Will Smith learned from each chapter of his life.

The idea of divorce is something I want to dissect from the book. Will Smith was married to Sheree Zampino from 1992 to 1995. Will met Sheree when he was actually trying to see Jada at the taping of A Different World. Will Smith has seen Jada at different times earlier in his acting career and always felt attracted to Jada, but then was caught off guard with Sheree in this coincidental meet up. His original intention to seeing the taping of A Different World was to see Jada perform and talk to her afterwards. However, fate decided things differently for him. Will ended up marrying Sheree in 1992 and having his first son, Trey Smith, in the same year. Throughout the book, Will Smith dabbled with the concept of love a few times with his earlier girlfriends, but the discussion in regards to Sheree was quite deep. Their marriage was only a short span of 3 years. Within those 3 years, he got a taste of fatherhood and meteoric rise and fall of fame.

The picture above with the highlighted parts are all of the segments of which I analyzed and understood about one's love for a romantic partner. Will always eluded to him being the funny character in the house to entertain his dad whenever his parents had a fight; such arguments would lead to his father beating up his mom and the children. Therefore, Will being the most imaginative person in the household would always crack jokes to try keep the peace and brighten his dad's mood so he won't hurt his mom. Maybe his childhood trauma and witnessing domestic abuse created a disturbed depiction of what love is supposed to be. His mom did eventually leave Will's father which created another sense of lost in realizing the true meaning of a romantic partnership.

After finishing the book and now having to really sit down and reread the highlighted portions, I can see that Will Smith is broken because he never truly resolved his childhood experiences that still haunt him today as a father and husband. When Sheree told Will that he was not in love with her but rather the idea of her as what a wife should be- a "placeholder wife". This actually made sense to me because I myself have done this. From the experiences and memories I have had with people like my mom who is a wife and mother taking care of my father and standing by his side through the ups and downs molded a framework of how I envision my future wife to be. In a way, I could see that it might be detrimental to my relationship with my future girlfriend/ wife because the mold of a perfect wife or mother to my kids might be impossible to ask. To sustain love in longevity, we all need to compromise. Maybe upholding this mold or marrying Sheree and try to change her to fit this placeholder wife caused rifts in the marriage for Will and Sheree. Therefore, they eventually divorced. I will take this lesson from Will to be more introspective of my belief of what a future wife and try to not make the same mistake he did.

Following up with the same theme of love and marriage, the highlighted segments gave me another understanding about communication in a relationship. So Will Smith bought his wife Jada a house for the both of them to live together. At first Jada said no because it was too big and extravagant, but somehow, Will sweet talk Jada into accepting it and made the purchase. Years later, Jada and Will end up having arguments about the house and then sold it years later. Also, Will and Jada went to counseling therapy because their relationship was in a disarray for quite some time. The both of them were asked to write down their priorities from 1 to 5 with 1 being the highest priority. Each of them had their priorities completely flipped. You are going to have to read the book to find the different priorities each of them have. Bottom line though, this excerpt taught me to have small exercises like these to discuss with my future partner what our priorities are so we can be see where he or she is coming from. I am definitely one who want to be on the same page as my partner with priorities because it is the foundation for us to build on as a couple.

"If I am more successful, I'll be happier..." The endless chase of MORE just to END with perpetual DISAPPOINTMENT. Will Smith came to the realization that his rise to untouchable fame came from the perfect execution in acting of highly popularized blockbusters. However, with each record breaking movie, Will seems to never be truly satisfied and he ends up looking for the bigger hit of movie. He even admits that he was trying to fill an internal emotional hole with external, material achievements. Certainly, one can take a step back and see that this quest for more is unsustainable emotionally and physically. In our current society, there is an insidious crave for more wealth that is synonymous with consuming more luxury items, achieving more accolades, and flexing it without a care. In a way, it is like we have been brainwashed or condition by the media and crippled by trauma in our childhood to easily fall for this mindset of continuously wanting more success. Sure, achieving success is a positive aspect, but the drive to obtain higher success because one does not actually enjoy being in the moment once that first level of success is achieved reflect a poor mental state.

Usually, the crave for more success reflect an unmet need we had during our younger age that grew with us in our old selves. For instance, maybe we wanted the acknowledgment of someone dearest to us like a parent or sibling but never got his or her approval; therefore, we sought for success to ensure that person would finally validate or acknowledge us. Sometimes the person we yearn for the validation will never give it to us because he or she is no longer in our life or abandoned us. So this unmet need continued to eat at Will Smith's core which forced him to seek for more success even though he is already at the highest peak of fame. No one could've touch Will. His accolades and awards spoke for itself. Thanks to his early awakening, Will was able to save his life by finding the things that he really cared for: Jada, his kids, and his parents. The main synthesis I can take from this is to aim for success from the beginning, but pause periodically once you are on the top to assess the reason why you would want to climb higher. What is the unmet need that you are trying to obtain with this higher altitude of success.

This is my last takeaway piece for this post. I like to save the very best for last! I myself have several desires or dreams. Only a few of my close friends really know the extent of these wondrous dreams. One of my biggest dream is to build a sustainable fish farm that would feed the world with a rich source of protein but in a environmentally sound manner. Being only 24 years old, I am trying to practice patience and curiosity. Therefore, when I came across lesson from Will, I had to highlight it and try to synthesize it! Apparently, the harsh reality to everyone who loves a dreamer is that everything comes second to the dream. In a way, I can definitely relate to this key point. It almost seems selfish, but I am willing to sacrifice things and relationships to obtain these dreams that I yearn for. When Will claim that in his darkest days his dreams saved him. I literally cried while reading that line because I felt that sincerely. I stood against all asian social norms to stand up against my parents in strive for being a fish farmer. To become a winner, one must make a relentless amount of sacrifices, so why stop now.

Although Will does contradict his younger self's mindset about accomplishing the dreams, he did present to us the same ideology that we all would carry if we ever struggles financially and emotionally. Being a first generation to graduate from college and an immigrant, I have a lot of pressure to realize my dreams! Therefore, I find it to be so true by the ways he described that failure equaled death. In a way, I do see such descriptions for myself! If you are reading this and have the same struggles, just know that it is ok to not sacrifice those relationships and moments of life because you need to succeed at all costs. Don't end up being lonely at the top!

Thank you for reading this blog post, if you enjoy any concept please comment or subscribe. I do hope you pick up the Will book for yourself and read it! Highly recommend :)